Your phone buzzes again, it’s another text: Do you remember our first date? Your Narcissist has determined that this was a failed attempt, since you didn’t respond, so they decide they have to up their game.They don’t want to seem too eager, because that would reek of desperation, so they wait a day, maybe two, hoping that the seeds they’ve just planted might take root. I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone.Or just ditching you every time a better offer comes up.– Claiming that the reason why they treat you as they do is because, for instance, you’re the ‘strong’ one in the family or don’t need as much as the others, or some other weird reason to justify why they treat you differently.But much to your chagrin, your Narcissist is pulling out all the stops, throwing everything at you to try and illicit some type of response.
They were looking for a way in and the best way to control you.They know that you have them on a pedestal and that you have more confidence and love for them than they deserve.People, rightly or wrongly, get a sense of how they can treat you and what they can get away with via their own actions and your boundaries which you demonstrate with your own actions and words.are, or you do know but don’t seem deterred, or they’ve been manipulative with their compliments to sell you their behaviour – “You’re so kind, generous, understanding, and supportive..” or even “I’m so glad you’re not like everyone else making demands on me..” – which you lap up and see as a compliment while they’re slipping their shady behaviour under the radar, they will gradually become increasing complacent and even careless about your feelings and your relationship.
They’ll also feel free to disappoint you if they know that you’re If someone believes that you’re so enamoured with them that you won’t leave, create conflict or consequences, or at least tell them to jog on (and mean it) when they try to push the boundaries, not only will they relax, but they just won’t in and given another chance, when really they should be getting the heave ho or at the very least, an increase in boundary security.This can feel like a smack in the teeth and if you’re prone to internalising these experiences and inclined to correlate them to your worth, you’ll wonder special and have in fact experienced some rather shady behaviour on their part, them pulling out the stops for someone else makes you wonder if you’ve misinterpreted their actions, or have missed the memo that informed you of what you’ve done to piss them off.